Tweet #6: I'm going to sleep now. I'll tweet again in exactly 8 hours! Yawn!
Tweet #5: What am I doing right now? I'm writing a tweet on my phone! Kind of obvious.
Tweet #4: My tomato soup just burnt my tongue! Hottttttttt!!!!
Tweet #3: Sikowitz is wearing a toupee today. #NotFoolingAnyone
Tweet #2: Do cows get cavities? Because I've never heard of a cow dentist.
Tweet #1: I like pepperoni pizza, but hate pepperonis by themselves. I bet pepperonis are glad pizza exists or they'd never get eaten.