Halloween pumpkin is rotting on my front porch. I'll bring it to school tomorrow if anyone wants to sniff it.

A monkey at the zoo sneezed on me and now I think I have the flu. Sorry in advance if I get you sick.

Did you know that a lifeguard can kick you off the beach for being too awkward and gangly? I found that out the hard way.

I made my own pants from bits of leftover carpet. I call them.... carpet pants. I'm not very good at naming things.

Today I learned that mayonnaise makes a perfectly good substitute for hair gel. I had to use a lot though, so now my turkey sandwich is mayo-less.

Do skunks know how bad they smell? And if they do, do you think it makes them depressed?

For my birthday, my parents got me a stick I can scratch my back with. I wanted a car, but you take what you can get.

Went to the gym. Fell off the treadmill. Broke a toe. I'm done going to the gym for awhile.