It's Black Friday and we're all stuck at the mall. Here's what we hate about the shoppiest day of the year.
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ToriVega
When that annoying guy with the slicked back hair at the cell phone kiosk asks you for your number... again!
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AndreHarris
When the person in front of you at the check out counter is paying her $48 bill in dimes and pennies.
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BeckOliver
When those perfume ladies spray me like I'm on fire. I'm a boy. I don't want to smell like petunias.
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RobbieShapiro
Those shirtless models that hang out in front of stores. They make me feel inferior.
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RexPowers
Mall Santas. I don't wanna sit on some grown man's lap? Why not a cute lady elf? I'd sit on her lap.
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JadeWest
That store where moms dress like their little girls and their little girls dress like their dolls. What is up with that?
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CatValentine
When you come out of a store to find your brother knee-deep in the fountain picking up "free money."
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Sikowitz
Getting arrested for not wearing shoes in the mall. Do you know how gross the police station floor is?
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TrinaVega
When the hot guy who works at The Pear Store tells you he isn't allowed to date customers. I think he's lying.
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We're putting the "Thanks" in Thanksgiving with our new trending topic. Here's what we're thankful for.
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RobbieShapiro
I'm thankful for yoga pants... and the girls who wear them to my yoga class.
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Cat Valentine
I'm thankful for my hair because my head would be cold without it.
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Sikowitz
I'm thankful for Hollywood Arts because I was headed to the carnival before I got this job.
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RexPowers
I'm thankful for the community of Northridge and the ladies it produces.
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TrinaVega
I'm thankful because I'm everything a boy would want.
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AndreHarris
I'm thankful for my fingers 'cuz without them I couldn't play the piano -- and my friends would call me Nubby.
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ToriVega
I'm thankful for ear plugs whenever Trina is singing in the shower.
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BeckOliver
I'm thankful for Jade because if I don't write that, she'll text-harass me all night.
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JadeWest
I'm thankful that we only have to be thankful on one day and that day will be over soon.
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Here are a few Thanksgiving lessons we've learned over the years. Hope our trendy wisdom helps you!
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ToriVega
Don't invite your ex-boyfriend. He'll probably just end up weeping into his creamed corn while he begs you to take him back.
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AndreHarris
Don't remind your grandma the turkey used to be alive. She'll be worried about turkey terrorists all night long.
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TrinaVega
Don't waste your hottest outfit on dinner when only your family is going to be there to see you.
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SinjinVanCleef
Don't chew your dinner and spit it out just to see the awesome fall colors on your plate. People don't like that.
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BeckOliver
Don't let Jade say grace before dinner starts unless you want your family to cry.
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JadeWest
Don't lock your annoying cousin in the basement. Your dad might call the cops on you.
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RobbieShapiro
Don't wear your tightest jeans to the dinner table because it's embarrassing to have to unbutton them at the table.
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RexPowers
Don't get too close to the oven if you don't want your face to melt.
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Sikowitz
Don't miss Thanksgiving because you forgot what day it's on. Apparently it's always on a Thursday. Or is it Friday?
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We think it's totally lame that there are no Thanksgiving songs. So we made some up!
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ToriVega
When A Man Loves a Turkey (When A Man Loves a Woman)
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JadeWest
Hit Me with Your Best Sauce (Hit Me with Your Best Shot)
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TrinaVega
Teenage Cream Corn (Teenage Dream)
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BeckOliver
Total Eclipse of the Tart (Total Eclipse of the Heart)
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CatValentine
You Belong with Meat (You Belong with Me)
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AndreHarris
I've Got a Filling (I've Got a Feeling)
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Sikowitz
Gravy, Gravy, Gravy (Baby, Baby, Bay). I think I have what they call Bieber Fever.
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RobbieShapiro
Miss Indigestion (Miss Independent)
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RexPowers
All The Northridge Girls. There's no Thanksgiving twist on that one. It's just all I could think about.
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Here's a preview of what our grandmas are going to say at Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.
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RobbieShapiro
I still can't believe they closed the internet.
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SinjinVanCleef
The sore on my face keeps getting infected. Can you please apply my ointment for me?
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ToriVega
Will you please tell Trina to stop asking if she's in the will.
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AndreHarris
The post office is run by aliens trying to enter your home and steal your ketchup.
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CatValentine
I never tell the security guards at the airport that I have a fake knee. It's always funny when it sets off the alarms and they freak out.
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Sikowitz
Why am I still alive? I'm 108 years old. Even my youngest grandchild is balding.
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RexPowers
My grandma was recycled years ago. She's now part of an outdoor dining set.
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JadeWest
I don't understand why you've dyed your hair black and blue. You look like a bad bruise.
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BeckOliver
Can you believe The Cheesecake Warehouse is now charging full-price for seniors? I wish someone would fix the economy before 4 PM today!
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